just a notice to everyone looking into this blog that i will be closing this blog soon.
i have moved my blog over to wordpress, and if you're interested, you're more than welcome to check in over there....
the new blog has many more dreaming posts in it, and hopefully will eventually have pictures and be easily cross-referenced by content. right now, i have several places in which i have been storing dreams and visions for the past three years or so - this new spot handles a bit more fluidly for me, so i'm going to leave this one behind shortly.
www.mothsdream.wordpress.commaybe i'll see you there.
7.26.2011
3.30.2011
fear
April 1, 2010
i am falling down through blackness. i wind up in some sort of building. i keep walking and walking until i realize i am in an old library. it is all wood and musty. there are empty shelves around me and many old documents in scrolls, or made out of very old paper in odd shapes and sizes. as i walk, the number of people and things around me diminishes. i can see, far ahead of me, a room full of students. i wonder who they are and what they're doing. i consider walking back there when i get a cold chill. my energy body becomes afraid for no real reason. i decide i had better turn back rather than go on. as i walk back, i am wondering if i should intend to find W.. at the instant, a crazy looking old man is rolling by on one of those mall-cop standing scooter thingies. he is in a trenchcoat and has long gray hair. i say "W!" and he stops and looks at me. he says it's good to finally see me and we hug like old friends. i start to follow him wherever he's going but get distracted at some point by a commotion outside the building.
this is the first time i can recall feeling afraid in a lucid dream. the sensation of fear is very different from what i would normally experience. for some reason, when my dreaming body is afraid, it is more scary than the "real thing".
i am falling down through blackness. i wind up in some sort of building. i keep walking and walking until i realize i am in an old library. it is all wood and musty. there are empty shelves around me and many old documents in scrolls, or made out of very old paper in odd shapes and sizes. as i walk, the number of people and things around me diminishes. i can see, far ahead of me, a room full of students. i wonder who they are and what they're doing. i consider walking back there when i get a cold chill. my energy body becomes afraid for no real reason. i decide i had better turn back rather than go on. as i walk back, i am wondering if i should intend to find W.. at the instant, a crazy looking old man is rolling by on one of those mall-cop standing scooter thingies. he is in a trenchcoat and has long gray hair. i say "W!" and he stops and looks at me. he says it's good to finally see me and we hug like old friends. i start to follow him wherever he's going but get distracted at some point by a commotion outside the building.
this is the first time i can recall feeling afraid in a lucid dream. the sensation of fear is very different from what i would normally experience. for some reason, when my dreaming body is afraid, it is more scary than the "real thing".
3.21.2011
the heart link
march 22, 2010
(non-lucid)
the heart link
deep in the night i had a dream that someone came to find me in order to show me something about myself. i watched this person conjured a small image of don Juan before me. his heart chakra started glowing. then the person gestured to me, indicating that my heart was glowing as well. he said something about how don Juan and i were alike somehow. a bridge of light formed between my heart and don Juan's heart as this person was telling me that i have the same heart. i started crying in the dream because of how amazing the sensation was. when i woke up i remember thinking how strange this dream was, as i don't normally dream of don Juan, and have only rarely dreamed of castaneda.
(non-lucid)
the heart link
deep in the night i had a dream that someone came to find me in order to show me something about myself. i watched this person conjured a small image of don Juan before me. his heart chakra started glowing. then the person gestured to me, indicating that my heart was glowing as well. he said something about how don Juan and i were alike somehow. a bridge of light formed between my heart and don Juan's heart as this person was telling me that i have the same heart. i started crying in the dream because of how amazing the sensation was. when i woke up i remember thinking how strange this dream was, as i don't normally dream of don Juan, and have only rarely dreamed of castaneda.
the creation mentor
march 20, 2010
(non-lucid)
the creation mentor
(this is where one half of my nights' dreaming takes place)
i am in what feels to be a basement in a house. i feel sure that i am with elias and one older woman who is a teacher to us. there are others in the house. singer is there because i know i kept thinking of her name. at first, there a bunch of us together with this woman.. the color in the room we are in seems to be a turquoise-blue. the woman is helping us learn by doing.....how to create with our bodies and not our minds. she takes us to a strange piano. the keys are very thin, and they are all white - no black keys. they have the notes written on them. she is telling a man to play a piece of music on the piano. he fouls it up pretty badly. he says he cant do it properly because he doesnt know how to play and doesnt understand the song or the piano. she pushes him out of the way and dismisses him. she instructs me to come sit at the piano and play. i feel a force coming from the center of my body, showing me how to play. it is difficult to let go of my mind and just move with the sensation coming from my center. she appears to be very pleased. pretty soon, everyone else has been dismissed but me and elias (i think). the woman is now encouraging us to paint and play music without our minds.... just with the feeling from the body.
the feeling i had was that our (me and elias) particular strengths were similar, and being nurtured in dreaming by her.
later on, she tells us that it is our duty to do dreaming. that we cannot abandon our calling.
in a later scene, i am at the same place and drinking a martini.... i am annoyed at myself for having forgotten that i am going to have to drive the long way back to my house to avoid the freeway if i drink it...... i don't want to be driving that fast after drinking....
(non-lucid)
the creation mentor
(this is where one half of my nights' dreaming takes place)
i am in what feels to be a basement in a house. i feel sure that i am with elias and one older woman who is a teacher to us. there are others in the house. singer is there because i know i kept thinking of her name. at first, there a bunch of us together with this woman.. the color in the room we are in seems to be a turquoise-blue. the woman is helping us learn by doing.....how to create with our bodies and not our minds. she takes us to a strange piano. the keys are very thin, and they are all white - no black keys. they have the notes written on them. she is telling a man to play a piece of music on the piano. he fouls it up pretty badly. he says he cant do it properly because he doesnt know how to play and doesnt understand the song or the piano. she pushes him out of the way and dismisses him. she instructs me to come sit at the piano and play. i feel a force coming from the center of my body, showing me how to play. it is difficult to let go of my mind and just move with the sensation coming from my center. she appears to be very pleased. pretty soon, everyone else has been dismissed but me and elias (i think). the woman is now encouraging us to paint and play music without our minds.... just with the feeling from the body.
the feeling i had was that our (me and elias) particular strengths were similar, and being nurtured in dreaming by her.
later on, she tells us that it is our duty to do dreaming. that we cannot abandon our calling.
in a later scene, i am at the same place and drinking a martini.... i am annoyed at myself for having forgotten that i am going to have to drive the long way back to my house to avoid the freeway if i drink it...... i don't want to be driving that fast after drinking....
different
march 19, 2010
totally inappropriate phone call
in bed with r. i am groggy..just waking up and i can feel movement and hear him talking. the rest is short and, as eilias would say, be glad i leave out the details. suffice it to say that in the dream, i was so shaken that i dreamed that i woke up and wrote down a few key words in my dream journal next to the bed. i then dreamed that i went back to sleep and thus became lucid in the second dream:
i find myself in the room that i grew up in. i walk through the wall and sit on the roof. it is very cold and breezy. it is early morning. there is no one around but me. i start to ramp up my lucidity by intending it and by slapping my face. fairly soon i feel stable. i know that i have to meet the group and so i start moving. i dont' remember how i ended up in a crowded mall, but that's where i found myself. the scene is sort of strange in that the people seem to be actually doing their own thing rather than following me around - which is what my dcs do if i engage them in any way. i decide to start looking for energy, so i check my own first. i can feel it, like an electrifiied pressure. it's a very thin, bright and uneven glowing - like a neon wire, around my hand. my ability to see and sense it has grown since the last time i did it. i decide to use the opportunity to check the energy of other items in the dream. i start pointing at individuals around me in the mall who aren't moving too much. i can see their energy, too. i tried with about five different people and noted the differences between them. i saw variations on the same theme: each of the energies i focused on was within a whitish - tan band of color. some were very white...some were a little bit more dull or faded. some were thin, one was very fuzzy. i found one which was very thick - about two inches when the rest were 3/4 of an inch or so. it was very bright and uniform. its color was very true.... it was so bright it took on a greenish yellow tinge. at this point, i decided to look for an inorganic item. i had sort of a feeling where to find it, and i just asked out loud in the dream, "is anyone here an inorganic being?" and got a response. it looked like an older woman in bright pink clothing. she was missing an arm, if i remember correctly, and she was reading a newspaper so that it hid her face. i checked her energy. it was bright yellow and it looked like mine: like a hot neon wire. i asked her to take me to her world to visit and she said, "tomorrow". i took her by the hand and i started moving down. however, i looked up and this stopped my movement. i've never tried this before, so i don't know what that means. i saw her looking down at me, and she looked surprised. she grabbed my hand and then we sped downward. now i'm in a darkish room. they've left me alone to fill out some paperwork in a room by myself. i need to sign a bunch of forms. some movement in my bedroom must have woken me up, because i wound up awake in bed in no time flat, and it had nothing to do with losing lucidity.
notes to self (anyone feels free to comment on any of these):
this is the second time recently that i've dreamed of having to sign forms in the IB realm. never had to that before, and am wondering if it means that they are going to attempt to "contract" with me soon. usually, i am in there alone. these past two times i seemed to be trying to escort others into their realm... i am wondering whether the concept of "signing" has to do with bringing in others....?
also - pay more attention. they sidetracked me again by getting me to fall for their stupid signing papers bs. i sit in their realm signing away while they get to profit off my energy and i get nothing.
not totally sure about the nature of this dream. the "ib" didn't behave or feel like the ones i normally encounter. i'm taking it at face value for now, but am split 50/50 on whether the dream was all projection or not.
totally inappropriate phone call
in bed with r. i am groggy..just waking up and i can feel movement and hear him talking. the rest is short and, as eilias would say, be glad i leave out the details. suffice it to say that in the dream, i was so shaken that i dreamed that i woke up and wrote down a few key words in my dream journal next to the bed. i then dreamed that i went back to sleep and thus became lucid in the second dream:
i find myself in the room that i grew up in. i walk through the wall and sit on the roof. it is very cold and breezy. it is early morning. there is no one around but me. i start to ramp up my lucidity by intending it and by slapping my face. fairly soon i feel stable. i know that i have to meet the group and so i start moving. i dont' remember how i ended up in a crowded mall, but that's where i found myself. the scene is sort of strange in that the people seem to be actually doing their own thing rather than following me around - which is what my dcs do if i engage them in any way. i decide to start looking for energy, so i check my own first. i can feel it, like an electrifiied pressure. it's a very thin, bright and uneven glowing - like a neon wire, around my hand. my ability to see and sense it has grown since the last time i did it. i decide to use the opportunity to check the energy of other items in the dream. i start pointing at individuals around me in the mall who aren't moving too much. i can see their energy, too. i tried with about five different people and noted the differences between them. i saw variations on the same theme: each of the energies i focused on was within a whitish - tan band of color. some were very white...some were a little bit more dull or faded. some were thin, one was very fuzzy. i found one which was very thick - about two inches when the rest were 3/4 of an inch or so. it was very bright and uniform. its color was very true.... it was so bright it took on a greenish yellow tinge. at this point, i decided to look for an inorganic item. i had sort of a feeling where to find it, and i just asked out loud in the dream, "is anyone here an inorganic being?" and got a response. it looked like an older woman in bright pink clothing. she was missing an arm, if i remember correctly, and she was reading a newspaper so that it hid her face. i checked her energy. it was bright yellow and it looked like mine: like a hot neon wire. i asked her to take me to her world to visit and she said, "tomorrow". i took her by the hand and i started moving down. however, i looked up and this stopped my movement. i've never tried this before, so i don't know what that means. i saw her looking down at me, and she looked surprised. she grabbed my hand and then we sped downward. now i'm in a darkish room. they've left me alone to fill out some paperwork in a room by myself. i need to sign a bunch of forms. some movement in my bedroom must have woken me up, because i wound up awake in bed in no time flat, and it had nothing to do with losing lucidity.
notes to self (anyone feels free to comment on any of these):
this is the second time recently that i've dreamed of having to sign forms in the IB realm. never had to that before, and am wondering if it means that they are going to attempt to "contract" with me soon. usually, i am in there alone. these past two times i seemed to be trying to escort others into their realm... i am wondering whether the concept of "signing" has to do with bringing in others....?
also - pay more attention. they sidetracked me again by getting me to fall for their stupid signing papers bs. i sit in their realm signing away while they get to profit off my energy and i get nothing.
not totally sure about the nature of this dream. the "ib" didn't behave or feel like the ones i normally encounter. i'm taking it at face value for now, but am split 50/50 on whether the dream was all projection or not.
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